A. Fist-in First-out, Last-in First-out, First-in Still-here.

Q. How can you identify an extroverted accountant?

A. When he is talking to you, he looks at your shoes instead of his

Medical research has now confirmed that marijuana use has definite medicinal properties for treatment of glaucoma and other illnesses. The IRS has now ruled that expenses of medicinal marijuana can be deducted as a medical expense.

However, only if you file a joint return.

Q. What's the definition of an accountant?

A. Someone who solves a problem you didn't know you had in a way you don't understand.

Q. What's the definition of a good tax accountant?

A. Someone who has a loophole named after him.

Q. When does a person decide to become an accountant?

A. When he realizes he doesn't have the charisma to succeed as an undertaker.

Q. What does an accountant use for birth control?

A. His personality.

Q. What's an auditor?

A. Someone who arrives after the battle and bayonets all the wounded.

Q. How do you drive an accountant completely insane?

A. Tie him to a chair, stand in front of him and fold up a roadmap the wrong way.